Technology is a good thing. Except when it comes to something malfunctioning.
The other morning I walked into the kitchen to get some coffee. I was having what I call a “duh day”, a day when my brain & body aren’t on the best of speaking terms. I poured my coffee and headed to the family room to watch the news. As I got half way out of the kitchen, I heard it, “Beep, beep, beep!” It was this faint little, “help me I’m in a box” type beep.
I went back into the kitchen and just stood there because the beeping had stopped. Ok, maybe I was hearing things. I turned to leave the room and “beep, beep, beep”. My first thought was that maybe the timer was on the oven. “Crap! Did I turn on the oven and forget?” Nope, oven was off (thank goodness).
“Beep, beep, beep!” There is was again, Ahhhhhh! I checked the microwave. Nope. It was empty and asleep.
“Beep, beep, beep!” Ok, getting really annoyed here. What the hell is beeping!!! Then I remembered our new, techno-savvy fridge had an alarm if the door wasn’t closed all the way. That had to be it, right? Walked to the fridge. “Beep, beep, beep!” Ah Ha! Getting warmer. Has to be the fridge. Nope! The door is closed and the alarm button isn’t flashing.
“Beep, beep, beep!” Ok! This is ridiculous. What the hell is beeping at me!!!!! I went to get my son. I explained as we walked back into the kitchen that “something was trying to talk to me” and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
We stood in the room, not moving, and listened. Nothing! He started to leave, but I knew better. These sneaky “beeping appliances” would wait until he left and start up. We waited. NOTHING! My son looked at me like I had lost my mind and turned to go upstairs.
He stopped to say “hi” to the fridge, VERY FUNNY, opened the door and grabbed an apple. “Close that door!” I threw at him. “I don’t need that talking to me too.” Eye’s rolling, with “that look”, he turned to go. Then………….we both heard it! That faint little “I’m here” beep, beep, beep!
“Uh Mom?……”, he started to say. “Shhhhhhh!”, we’ve got it now”, I said in my best TV detective voice!
“But Mom!”, he tried interrupting. “Hush! Can’t you hear it? It’s so close it’s driving me nuts”, I whispered to him. Then a light bulb went on??? IT’S GOT TO BE THE NEW COFFEE MAKER!!!!! I triumphantly walked over to the new coffee maker, positive I missed reading the instructions on how to “speak java” when I unpacked it. But No! The new coffee maker was still too intimidated to make a peep, let alone a techno “beep”.
I stood there and turned to my son who by this time had a weird, “She’s lost it. Should I call Dad or just dial 911 first” kinda look on his face. “Beep, beep, beep”.
“Where the hell is that coming from. What appliance is trying to talk to me???”
“MOM LISTEN TO ME!” my son finally blurted out. “Ok, what?”, I asked finally admitting defeat.
He started laughing, which I did not appreciate at this point. Pointing to my leg and trying not to loose it, he said, “It’s your WalkAide! The battery must need replacing!”
Well Crap! Another piece of technology speaking to me! Forget learning Spanish. I need to learn “Beepinese”.